


Urban Legend

by Skye_Willows



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Crack Fic, Gossip, M/M, Mature only for sexual references, This is stupid but fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 12:29:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21494317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_Willows/pseuds/Skye_Willows
Summary: There are various legends throughout the DPD, and one of them is that Gavin had a magical talent with flowers. Apparently, he can make natural blooms which can last through any season.Hank has learned the truth behind each legend before it and is determined to do the same with this new mystery...but even he's not quite prepared forthistruth.
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Gavin Reed, Hank Anderson/Connor, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 8
Kudos: 86





	Urban Legend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [connorssock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorssock/gifts), [Stujet9rainshine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stujet9rainshine/gifts), [LittleLalaith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLalaith/gifts).

> Hi guys! So this fic is **ENTIRELY** the fault of a discussion between myself and the other Kinksters (the group of myself, Socks, Stu and Yx - the mischief makers behind **_The Great DPD Kink Off_**) and I couldn't not turn this into a crack fic.
> 
> I'll tell you all exactly what inspired it at the end, otherwise it would be spoilers, but I hope you all enjoy this piece of nonsense.

More than once, Hank had come across ‘legends’ within the DPD. They were all ridiculous shit about people that made no fucking sense, but for some reason caught interest and became hot gossip.

Some were downright stupid, like the time that someone had apparently got their dick stuck in a gun muzzle in the evidence room (_no way that happened, cause the guy that was the apparent victim was suspended when it supposedly took place)_; or he recalled one where Fowler had seemingly caught a bullet with a pan before shooting down a suspect (_again, Hank knew that wasn’t true because Jeffrey would have been a smug bastard **forever **about it)_.

Though he had to commend the imagination of others – the story about how his old mentor and former partner had lost her finger in a samurai duel when she went on holiday to Japan (_it was a better reason than the actual one: that Hank had accidentally shut her hand in the car door after trying to be a gentleman and sending her home in a taxi following a night out), _or how Hank himself had apparently taken a bump to the head and had a near death experience after a bungee jump got cut too close.

(_He had no idea who started that one or why, but he actually played up to it for a while when he was younger. Made him sound a hell of a lot more badass when he would probably just hightail it the other way if he got too close to a bungee cord. Hank had wondered if his former partner started it as a thank you for him beginning her own ‘legend’…and to cover up for the fact that she’d toppled a bookcase on him because she hadn’t been watching where she was going.)_

However, he was getting side-tracked. The point was, it wasn’t unheard of for tall tales to make their way through the precinct and stick, almost to the point where nobody wanted to know if it was true or not; lest they spoil the fun. Hank had always made a point of digging to learn the truth for his own personal curiosity (_he was a nosey bastard, so sue him. That was a large part of what made him such a good cop)_, but never shared the answers. If anyone wanted to learn them, it would have to be under their own speed.

Thus far, no rumour had managed to defeat him…but this one might, purely because of who it involved.

The latest story making the rounds was that Gavin Reed was something of a mystical gardener (_which Hank found utterly hilarious given he’d killed every plant that had wound its way on to his desk before, the lieutenant wondered if Gavin got a sadistic joy out of it), _given that both Chris and Tina had commented on a specific planter on Gavin’s balcony. Apparently it was always blooming throughout the year, no matter how hard the snow or cold got.

When asked about whether the flowers were fake, both stated that they changed often and looked genuine. They’d even gone all the way up to the window to study them closely, and were astounded to see them shifting with the elements as real flowers would do.

Hank wasn’t convinced, given Gavin’s track record, but he couldn’t deny his curiosity. The issue arose in the fact that the pair hated each other, and that was not likely to change anytime soon. They’d hated each other since the second week Gavin shifted to the precinct and it had not budged an inch in three years of knowing each other.

…He wasn’t about to give up though – it might take some time, but Hank was going to get to the bottom of the story.

* * *

What he didn’t expect was for the mystery to be solved almost six years later.

Between various shit heaps and fuck ups after Hank’s spell as an alcoholic, along with the world going into complete upheaval courtesy of an android revolution, the legend had completely fallen out of Hank’s head. He’d not given it a thought for literal _years _when he found himself being dragged around to Gavin and Nines’ place one night by his own android.

“Con, why the fuck are you making me do this?” Hank moaned as Connor was shoving him inside the car. “Don’t you think we see them often enough at work since they are our fucking partners?”

A scowl and the crossing of Connor’s arms was as far as Hank got before having to admit defeat. He hadn’t just been coming up with an excuse though, it was true. After it came to light that both Hank and Gavin had ended up in relationships with their, at the time, work partners, Fowler had forced them all to switch. Now Gavin and Connor were teamed up while Hank was partnered with Nines.

It had been a big adjustment, and not just in the case of their work dynamics – in a strange twist, each pairing’s couples ended up crossing paths _a lot_, so the four of them more often than not ended up brainstorming cases together. What it did mean was that there was less pressure on everyone since the couples were less inclined to take work home with them, but the four had become oddly close.

Even so, Hank wasn’t one for ‘dinner parties’ (_both he and Gavin had balked at Nines’ suggestion, but both androids tended to get what they wanted. So they were having a fucking dinner party)_, and he’d told Connor that numerous times in the week leading up to it. Not that it made a difference in the slightest, so there they were.

Now Hank was sat on the couch in Gavin and Nines’ lounge as those two were chatting in the kitchen while cooking, Connor curled into his side as he read an article on the tablet that Nines had handed him. While both androids could absorb information at breath taking speeds, they tried to avoid doing so around their partners outside of work – both Hank and Gavin had been left feeling ‘inadequate’ as a result before.

While watching Connor with a gentle smile, Hank’s eyes took in the room around him. The decorations were few but gave the room a little vibrancy and he could see things which clearly belonged to both the human and android that lived there. It reminded Hank of his and Connor’s home in a way, and that made his own smile grow. Only when his eyes reached the windows did he spy something that made his sense tingle.

Beside the main window were two smaller ones, both of which had flower planters. Not only that, but they were _blooming…_while it was snowing outside.

Fuck, Chris and Tina hadn’t been yanking everyone’s chains about the presence of the flowers then, they were a thing all right. All that needed to be explored was whether they were real or not, but Hank couldn’t possibly see how they were. Nothing could survive in such cold temperatures, but they were moving as gently as natural flowers would in the wind…

He never had the chance to explore because when Hank asked Gavin about his trick to flowers, and to have a closer look at the blooms, the other man gave a slightly snippy response.

“Nope, I ain’t opening that window in a fucking _blizzard _to satisfy your curiosity, Hank. Surely you can see yourself from the way they move that they’re real?”

Gavin had him there, but Hank wasn’t one to let a mystery beat him that easily. He was just going to have to be more sneaky is all.

* * *

His opportunity came after another couple of weeks, when he wound up at the apartment again – only this time, it was minus their androids. Connor and Nines had decided to go to a celebration for the day the androids were legally recognised as sentient beings with the Jericho crew, but they were en route to Gavin and Nines’ place to have a private party afterwards. Hank and Gavin were actually good friends now, despite all their sniping at each other.

By this point it was just a game to see which one of them would slip up first, there was no malice left in the insults. If anything, they could almost be called affectionate.

“You wanting a coffee to keep your old ass awake since it’s past your bed time, Hank?” Gavin teased while getting up, leaving their game of chess on pause. “And don’t fucking my pieces!”

Hank rolled his eyes while snorting. “Please, shithead, I don’t need to move your pieces since I’ve already got you on the ropes. I think you need that burst of caffeine more than me if your lacklustre effort in this game is anything to go by!” he shouted after Gavin, chuckling when the younger man flipped him the bird as he vanished into the kitchen.

…Well, this was too good an opportunity to pass up. Gavin had willingly left Hank alone in the lounge, and the door to the kitchen was situated in such a way that it wouldn’t be immediately apparent where Hank had moved to. For all Gavin would know, Hank had gone to the bathroom.

Calling on all of his stealth skills Hank crossed to the window and took a close look at the flowers, realising that they had changed since seeing them a some weeks ago. That backed up the assertion that they were real…but Hank wasn’t sold. No way could they be blooming when the soil was snowed on.

He managed to unlatch the window very gently and slide it up, allowing Hank to reach out and feel one of the petals. His breath caught as he recognised the texture.

_Holy fuck, these feel and look real but I’d bet my life on them being silk, that shit can be pretty damn realistic. Still, why would Gavin spend so much money on silk flowers instead of shitty fakes? He’s not a green thumb type._

Unwittingly, Hank pulled one of the flowers away cleanly when testing the rigidity of it and he froze while staring at the head. Well fuck…how was he going to…explain…

_Is that-Fucking hell, it is. What the fuck!_

What Hank had assumed would be the stem of the broken flower, was in fact something very different. Now way too curious, he pulled the object out and took a closer look at it.

_Son of a bitch, this **is **a vibrator! Are all of these like this?!_

A minute later and Hank had his answer – the flowers were actually a very clever cover for a collection of almost twenty vibrators and vibrating butt plugs.

“Hank I forgot if you take one or two-Oh. **_Fuck.”_**

The older man turned around, not even caring that he’d been caught red-handed after seeing how Gavin’s face went scarlet. Clearly he’d not thought about the possibility of his secret being found out.

“Really, Gavin? These ‘mystical’ flowers that became a legend in the precinct years ago are actually a cover for your personal collection of sex toys?” Hank asked in exasperation. “I mean, I’ve heard about being subtle and wanting to be private, but this has to take the cake.”

Blushing horribly, Gavin took a deep breath before muttering quietly. “If you swear not to tell a soul beyond Connor and Nines, I’ll tell you the full story.”

Well, Hank had always said that he’d keep the truth behind the legends quiet if he learned the truth. This time was no different and he confirmed as much with a nod, waiting patiently as Gavin walked back through and collected their drinks before being told the whole story…Which was even more ridiculous than he’d ever imagined.

“So, let me get this straight,” Hank sniggered while drinking the last of his coffee. “You and your friend got drunk in the academy and started moaning about how shit the batteries in sex toys were, which led to him coming up with ‘solar powered’ sex toys?”

Gavin just shrugged. “Sounded like a good idea to me at the time, but I didn’t think the bastard would be crazy enough to _make them_. I mean, he even went out of his way to make the planters look genuine with the silk flowers and fucking solar ones to power the toys! And those things do last _ages, _even if I forget to plug them back in I can use them for over a week without-”

“Don’t! Don’t you fucking finish that sentence! I do **_not _**need that thought in my head!” Hank howled, putting his head in his hands. “How the fuck did I end up just seeing your collection of vibrators, and now we’re having a conversation about it? That’s so fucking messed up.”

“Pffft, please, that’s nothing. You should see the rest of the shit Nines and I have in the back, that stuff’s child’s play; just novel as fuck is all,” Gavin replied nonchalantly.

Hank was sure he’d jumped into an alternate universe at this point. “I think I’ve learned more than enough about you two’s sexual escapades to do me for a lifetime, thank you. Jesus Christ…”

“Hey, you’re the one who went snooping, old man,” the detective shrugged, to which Hank looked at him completely deadpan.

“Well excuse me for not expecting to find out that you keep your sex toys in plain view of the world! All I wanted was to see whether that shit was real or not!” he exclaimed.

“And I told you not to open the fucking window! I didn’t just say that to fuck with you!” Gavin argued back, neither man noticing the front door opening as they continued to snipe at each other.

“You fucking would though, so what else was I meant to do other than look?!”

“How about, not sticking your nose into it?! Do you dig around into everyone’s private shit?”

“What the fuck? How could a planter on a window sill be considered ‘private shit_’_? It’s flowers, they’re meant to be pretty and looked at!”

“Yeah, _looked _at! Not fondled and pulled apart!”

A cough from the side made both of them freeze and they slowly turned towards Nines and Connor, the RK900 looking entirely amused while Connor was a little confused. “Wait, you hadn’t told him?” Connor asked Nines in surprise.

Nines simply shrugged. “Hank and I are work partners, Connor, not sexual ones. That was not for me to share and I didn’t think he’d care to be enlightened. I would have thought that _you _would have said something?”

Connor scowled a little. “I didn’t think I was meant to know, I only realised about the toys because I scanned the flowers the first time I came around.”

The RK900’s smirk grew. “And yet you’ve known since we had both of your over for dinner that Hank has been curious about them. You didn’t feel like sharing?”

“Neither did you, apparently,” Connor pointed out, to which the androids looked back towards the humans again. An awkward silence descended over the group for a few seconds before Gavin coughed to get the conversation moving again.

“Hey, babe, why don’t you help me beat the fossil at chess? He’s adamant that I’m losing, but I’m just playing the long game,” he suggested, smiling as Nines walked over and took a split second look before striding away again.

“Gavin, your strategy for that game is as loose as your asshole: you’re about to get nailed.”

Both humans choked on spit as Connor started laughing.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was the exact conversation that set this whole thing off:
> 
> A: Talking with a friend about sex toys and price of batteries. We came up with the concept of solar powered sex toys. But then realised it wouldn't be any good. Imagine using a buttplug but it only working in the sun so you have to be in your garden on your hands and knees, ass pointing towards the sun to get it to vibrate.
> 
> B: But imagine having a special place in your yard to charge all your toys. Hopefully you won't have a person just be like 'Huh, they have a didlo tray in their yard.'
> 
> A: Most people have plant trays in their garden. Some have dildo trays.
> 
> C: ...I can see that being a very Gavin and Nines thing to do. 
> 
> A: Also, there's those annoying solar operated flower that only works in sunlight...
> 
> C: The stems of the flower are actually dildos? Hidden in plain sight?
> 
> A: Hah, you get those dildos/plugs with ornate ends like roses.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> And hence this was born, I hope you all enjoyed that ridiculousness.
> 
> Come check me out on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SkyeWillows) and [Tumblr](https://skyewillows.tumblr.com), or ask for my Discord to scream at me on there! All screams welcome!
> 
> I am a slave to all forms of feedback (kudos, subs, bookmarks and especially comments), so please feel free to indulge me.
> 
> Until the next time everyone!


End file.
